The other day while my son was reading book four of the Michael Vay series, skipping book two and three since we’re waiting for them from our library, I decided he needed to learn some very basic rules of reading. So in my horrific English accent, I proceeded to the commandments of reading.
The Ten Commandments of Reading
- Never tell the end of a good book to a friend.
- Read the book before the movie, except if the movie is Princess Bride.
- If you’re in a used bookstore, you must buy a book. Unless you’re dead broke, then go to the library.
- You should always have a library card.
- Always read a series in order, unless there are too many to keep count. Then go crazy.
- If a friend lends you a book and you accidentally damage it, replace it.
- Don’t break the binding of a book or damage a book, no matter how you detest it. Get a bookmark people, even a sock will do.
- If you interrupt someone during a good part of a book you must recite the alphabet backwards, while standing on your head. (Parents are the only exception for underage children, and a fire because the safety of a book comes first.)
- No skipping to the end of a book. Yes, you know who you are.
- When reciting the commandments, please use your best snooty English accent.
When my daughter broke rule one as my son was reading Harry Potter, I thought she’d catch on fire with that blasphemy. And I recommend two library cards, in case of emergencies.
What is your pet peeve when reading? Let me know. While these may be etched in stone, like every writer knows, the edits never stop.